A Contented Heart

For starters, how cliché is it to write a blog post about goals? In January? But I’m excited about mine—enough that I wanted to share it. And perhaps invite you to participate with me. So hear me out.

2013 was a rough year for me. Don’t get me wrong, there were many experiences that were beautiful, interesting, and fun. But overall it was a year I was happy to pack up and put away. As I look back over 2013, I recall happy MOMENTS, but they are often overshadowed by the in-between times. The times I bit my tongue and held my breath until the next positive situation came along.

Enter my 2014 goal.

I want to do more than just “wait out” the rough parts. I want to find a way I can honestly have JOY while waiting for happiness.  The other night I came across this quote, and immediately my heart cried out—“THIS IS IT”.
I couldn’t find it’s source, but it was so beautiful and so…SPOT ON. I need a contented heart. The change that is required feels overwhelming. (It wouldn’t be a “resolution” if it didn’t, right?) So like any good resolution I’m breaking it down into smaller goals. Each month I’ll find a different way to bring contentment to my heart. While preparing the lesson for my Sunday School class 2 weeks ago I stumbled across my first “sub-goal”.

President Henry B. Eyring once spoke about keeping a journal of moments when he recognized God’s Hand in his life. I’ve read this talk numerous times, and always feel compelled to be consistent in my journaling after, but this time the type of journaling meant something a little different. It’s more than a gratitude journal. Feeling grateful is important, but I feel like gratitude is a by-product of this journal.

Recognizing the hand of the Lord in your everyday life is not just feeling grateful for your kids—it’s the moment you strangely felt calm while potty training your toddler. It’s the time you knew just what to say when your teenager came to you for advice.  It’s the time your 7-year-old hands you an “I love you” card, just when you felt like you couldn’t possibly fail more miserably as a mom.

It’s not just feeling gratitude for your job—it’s the time you were led in choosing a career path, or felt your mind suddenly clear at the exact time you needed clarity.

It’s more than being grateful for friends or neighbors—it’s the time they show up on your doorstep just when you needed it most. It’s the time you felt inspired to send a random text, even if you felt crazy while doing so. It’s even the time you were asked to speak in church, on a specific topic YOU needed to hear.

I think the purpose of asking ourselves “Did I see God’s Hand in my life today” is not just to instill gratitude. It’s to remind us that HE is aware of our everyday life. He leads us in the little things, He CARES about the little things. Knowing we have a Father watching over us, guiding our lives and guiding others to bless us, makes me feel grateful, yes, but also LOVED. Loved and important. Oftentimes my weaker moments feel so hard because I feel extremely alone. But if I’m constantly looking for God’s Hand, it dispels loneliness. How can I feel alone when everyday there are signs that He is with me?

So that is my challenge this month. To notice God’s hand in my life. Every day. I want to take a moment each night and ponder the times that He proved again and again that He is watching over my life. I want to feel how important I am to Him. I want to end each day feeling loved and grateful. One step closer to a contented heart.